Can't type much right now as I had surgery on my finger due to a dishwashing accident. No, I am not kidding. So I'm resurrecting another oldie but goodie from one of my previous blogs in honor of my Superior Catholic Finger:
Books Ever Recovering/Ex/HalfAssed/Angry Former Catholic Should Own
May. 26th, 2008 at 2:10 PM
I found this in a folder I brought with me from Florida (why this folder and not the 20 other ones in my trunk? Don't know) of stuff that I wanted to put into my 'zine, Superior Catholic Finger. There's a ton more books that could be on this list, but there are only so many hours in the day... I re-wrote a lot of it since it's over 10 years old, written in sharpie on legal paper. Man, I loved sharpies and legal paper back when I was a zine freakazoid.
1. Lesbian Nuns: Breaking Silence
Found this in college and spent many hours hidden under the covers in my freshman dorm room so that no one saw me reading it. Recently, I saw the beginning of an episode of the L Word that starts off with a bus full of nuns. One of them is reading this, and then proceeds to get it on with another nun on the bus covertly. Hells yeah.
2. Eunuchs For The Kingdom Of Heaven: Women, Sexuality and the Catholic Church by Uta Ranke Heinman and Peter Heinegg.
I remeber that I got so angry when I was reading this that my skin felt hot. Catholicism still has that effect on me. Scary.
3. Saints Preserve Us!: Everything You Need to Know About Every Saint You'll Ever Need by Sean Kelly.
I believe this was the little gem that introduced me to Saint Bibiana, the patron saint of hangovers. So *that's* who I was invoking all of those times I spent draped over my toilet bowl! I think I should go into business making Saint Bibiana toilet seat covers. Bet they'd go over great here in Las Vegas. Every casino should take stock in them immediately...
4. Any Jesuit conspiracy theory book (no, Foucault's Pendulum does not count!)
5. Discipline and Punish:The Birth Of The Prison by Michel Foucalt (but Foucault himself does count, ha ha)
"On 2 March 1757 Damiens the regicide condemmed 'to make the amende honorable before the main door of the Church of Paris', where he was to be 'taken and conveyed in a cart, wearing nothing but a a shirt, holding a torch of burning wax weighing two pounds'; then, 'in the said cart, to the place de Greve, where, on a scaffold that will be erected there, the flesh will be torn from his breasts, arms, thighs and calves with red-hot pincers, his right hand, holding the knife with which he committed the said parricide, burnt with sulphur, and,on those places where the flesh will be torn away, poured molten lead, boiling oil, burning resin, wax and sulphur melted together and then his body drawn and quartered by four horses and his limbs and body consumed by fire, reduced to ashes and his ashes thrown to the winds" No, he's not talking about the first day of Catholic school, but sometimes I think he really might have been...givien the Church's longstanding history of support of torture and imprisonment (Inquisition, anyone?) I think this absolutely belongs on the list.
6. The Coming of The Cosmic Christ by Matthew Fox.
Any book that causes the Catholic Church to officially silence you is defintely worth reading and probably worth living. I love the review on amazon.com that calls it "tired heresies." Catholics love that fucking word, heresy. When I was in school, my teachers (nuns and lay teachers) seemed to always refer to Martin Luther as "Martin Luther, The Heretic." I swear they never said the man's name without that appellation.
7. The Basketball Diaries by Jim Carroll
Heroin and Catholic school boys, oh my.
8. The Complete Stories of Flannery O'Connor:
Because sometimes, Catholicism is actually a force for the good and genius.
9. The Spiral Staircase: My Climb Out Of Darkness by Karen Armstrong
Kind of like a really erudite Catholic version of Escape From Witch Mountain, only with nuns and academia and epilepsy.
10. The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown
Yeah, yeah, I know---it's so not a good book. But anything that causes Catholics to nearly riot on the streets should be on this list. They even protested here in Las Vegas when the film was playing, how ironic. I loved the South Park parody of this with the Bunny Pope. It made me happy.
11. The Last Temptation Of Christ by Nikos Kazantzakis
Boy, this really got the Catholic's goat when it came out as a movie. I still love the power of Mary Magdalene to piss off overzealous Catholics everywhere.
12. Justine by the Marquis De Sade
Holy blasphemy, batman. Despite all of my initial nascent feminist teenaged misgivings (actually, more like hatred) about De Sade, I found this to be wildly amusing when I re-read it as an adult. WWDSD?
And last but not least---lucky number thirteen:
13. The Index Librorum Prohibitorum
What would a list of books for "bad" Catholics be without a book that tells you exactly WHAT to read because it's heretical, blasphemous and immoral? Thanks, Vatican! Although this hasn't been around since 1966 or so (gotta love Vatican II---taking all of the fun out of being Catholic. No more Latin Mass, no more banned books...damn you...), it's still pretty interesting to check out what made it into the Index and what didn't. Who did: Voltaire, Nikos Kazantzakis, Pascal, Flaubert, Simone de Beauvoir (that's my girl!), Andre Gide, Jonathan Swift and John Milton, just to name a few. Who didn't: Hitler's Mein Kampf. Figures. I mean, look at the current Pope. I rest my case.
PAINTED CAKES DO NOT SATISFY HUNGER
Monday, January 3, 2011
Monday, December 20, 2010
An old one but good one from the myspace blog
Aug 13, 2008
Si Hoc Legere Scis Nimium Eruditionis Habes
Current mood:thirsty
Recently I missed my 20 year high school reunion due to the obvious condition of Gimp Foot and an underlying case of Cold Feet. Not so sure I wanted to see ALL of the people I went to St. Thomas Aquinas High School with. Although it wasn't completely bad---I received a really wonderful education that enabled me to go to an excellent college, graduate cum laude and subsequently become an alcoholic who works in a grocery store. Needless to say, staying at home in bed reading a massive pile of library books sounded really, really OK after visualizing myself standing in my high school cafeteria feeling surly and holding on to a ginger ale with a death grip. Ambivalent does not even begin to sum it up. Avoiding conversations about my present state of being seemed, ummm, integral to maintaining my sanity. Ok, yeah, I'm a total chicken shit. But really, I seriously couldn't get out of bed or put my foot down.
The one thing that I always thought was cool about my high school was that they offered Latin. Nevertheless, I decided to take Spanish for 3 years instead because I knew I could cruise by and spend most of the time gossiping with my high school best friend J. en espanol instead of actually having to study anything. I felt smugly sorry for all of the Anglo kids who struggled with the language and would get bored and sneak out to chain smoke in the bathroom. Being secretly Cuban never felt so good again.
My justification for avoiding Latin like the plague was that I was conserving my energy for AP Chemistry and Anatomy and Physiology. Really, I felt scared shitless of Latin. Fascinated, but not up for the challenge. Intimidated by the cream of the crop rich kids that were crammed into that classroom. Probably this was all a foreshadowing of my secret penchant for taking the easy way out (ie, vodka) that would rear its ugly head somewhere midway through my freshman year of college.
So in honor of my alma mater, here are some phrases I definitely wouldn't have learned in high school Latin class. Enjoy the raging nerdiness!
Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc: "we gladly feast on those who would subdue us" (actually, this is the mock Latin motto of the Addams Family but whatever, it's my blog)
Ubi nihil vales, ibi nihil velis: "Where you are worth nothing, there you will wish for nothing" (that pretty much sums up high school for me)
Amor et melle et felle est fecundissmismus: "love is rich with both honey and venom"
Asinus asinum fricat: "the jackass rubs the jackass" (Bush and Cheney, anyone?)
Cave laborem: "beware of work" (I'm going to use this as my email signature)
Descensus in cuniculi cavum: "The descent into the cave of the rabbit" (curiouser and curiouser!)
In omnibus requiem quaesivi, et nusquam inveni nisi in angulo cum libro: "Everywhere I have searched for peace and nowhere found it, except in a corner with a book"
Nemo saltat sobrius: "Nobody dances sober" (that would pretty much sum up the past year of my life)
Odi profanum vulgus et arceo: "I hate the unholy rabble and keep them away" (perhaps my family motto)
Post Coitum Omne Animal Triste Est: "After sexual intercourse every animal is sad"
Noli me tangere: "do not touch me"
Amicule, deliciae, num is sum qui mentiar tibi? "Baby, sweetheart, would I lie to you?"
Antiquis temporibus, nati tibi similes in rupibus ventosissimis exponebantur ad necem: "In the good old days, children like you were left to perish on windswept crags."
Diabolus fecit, ud id facerem!: "The devil made me do it!"
Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione: "I'm not interested in your stupid religious cult."
Si Hoc Legere Scis Nimium Eruditionis Habes
Current mood:thirsty
Recently I missed my 20 year high school reunion due to the obvious condition of Gimp Foot and an underlying case of Cold Feet. Not so sure I wanted to see ALL of the people I went to St. Thomas Aquinas High School with. Although it wasn't completely bad---I received a really wonderful education that enabled me to go to an excellent college, graduate cum laude and subsequently become an alcoholic who works in a grocery store. Needless to say, staying at home in bed reading a massive pile of library books sounded really, really OK after visualizing myself standing in my high school cafeteria feeling surly and holding on to a ginger ale with a death grip. Ambivalent does not even begin to sum it up. Avoiding conversations about my present state of being seemed, ummm, integral to maintaining my sanity. Ok, yeah, I'm a total chicken shit. But really, I seriously couldn't get out of bed or put my foot down.
The one thing that I always thought was cool about my high school was that they offered Latin. Nevertheless, I decided to take Spanish for 3 years instead because I knew I could cruise by and spend most of the time gossiping with my high school best friend J. en espanol instead of actually having to study anything. I felt smugly sorry for all of the Anglo kids who struggled with the language and would get bored and sneak out to chain smoke in the bathroom. Being secretly Cuban never felt so good again.
My justification for avoiding Latin like the plague was that I was conserving my energy for AP Chemistry and Anatomy and Physiology. Really, I felt scared shitless of Latin. Fascinated, but not up for the challenge. Intimidated by the cream of the crop rich kids that were crammed into that classroom. Probably this was all a foreshadowing of my secret penchant for taking the easy way out (ie, vodka) that would rear its ugly head somewhere midway through my freshman year of college.
So in honor of my alma mater, here are some phrases I definitely wouldn't have learned in high school Latin class. Enjoy the raging nerdiness!
Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc: "we gladly feast on those who would subdue us" (actually, this is the mock Latin motto of the Addams Family but whatever, it's my blog)
Ubi nihil vales, ibi nihil velis: "Where you are worth nothing, there you will wish for nothing" (that pretty much sums up high school for me)
Amor et melle et felle est fecundissmismus: "love is rich with both honey and venom"
Asinus asinum fricat: "the jackass rubs the jackass" (Bush and Cheney, anyone?)
Cave laborem: "beware of work" (I'm going to use this as my email signature)
Descensus in cuniculi cavum: "The descent into the cave of the rabbit" (curiouser and curiouser!)
In omnibus requiem quaesivi, et nusquam inveni nisi in angulo cum libro: "Everywhere I have searched for peace and nowhere found it, except in a corner with a book"
Nemo saltat sobrius: "Nobody dances sober" (that would pretty much sum up the past year of my life)
Odi profanum vulgus et arceo: "I hate the unholy rabble and keep them away" (perhaps my family motto)
Post Coitum Omne Animal Triste Est: "After sexual intercourse every animal is sad"
Noli me tangere: "do not touch me"
Amicule, deliciae, num is sum qui mentiar tibi? "Baby, sweetheart, would I lie to you?"
Antiquis temporibus, nati tibi similes in rupibus ventosissimis exponebantur ad necem: "In the good old days, children like you were left to perish on windswept crags."
Diabolus fecit, ud id facerem!: "The devil made me do it!"
Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione: "I'm not interested in your stupid religious cult."
Friday, December 10, 2010
"I like to cheer. I like to hunt."
I was driving to work this week when I heard this piece ("For Some Girls, The Ultimate Goal Is To Kill A Buck") aired on NPR as part of their Hidden Life of Girls series. It's about a 15 year old cheerleader named Magan Heber who also is an avid hunter. The piece just got more and more disturbing as it went on. It describes her first kill:
"It took a year of hunting before Magan killed her first deer. It was a doe. "I started shaking when I put the gun up, so [Dad] had to hold it steady for me," Magan says. But she did it. She hit the doe in the shoulder. Marcy couldn't believe it. Magan was hooked. "I just like the peace and quiet," Magan says, explaining the appeal."
I don't know, maybe I am confused. When I want peace and quiet I go lock myself in my room, go meditate, go to the library or go on a hike, not pick up a gun and shoot an animal. That does not sound peaceful to me.
This was immediately followed by the next comment, which almost sent me over the edge:
"She says she likes it when she sees a mother deer playing with her fawns. "I think it's cute. 'Cause, you know, you can't kill them yet. But when they grow up, it's really good food. I don't know. I just like it.""
Yeah, fawns are ridiculously cute. Do I ever look at them and think, "Hey, there's my future food! Grow up faster so I can eat you! ". Nope.
I am, and always have been, baffled and disturbed by hunting (and cheerleading too, actually). As a child, I couldn't stand the idea of my parents putting out mouse traps, never mind shooting deer from a deer blind. I used to steal and dismantle mouse traps constantly as a kid (never too early to start a career in activism, I suppose).
Part of me really wants to understand why. Why would this little girl be so enticed by shooting and killing animals? What is the real, unspoken appeal of this activity for her? Does it make her feel powerful? Does it give her a sense of control or safety? Is it just a big rush? Does she feel like it puts her on equal footing with her father and brother? Is it rebellion: proving to the boys that girls can do anything, including hunt? Or perhaps it's none of the above.
I also have to ask myself a few questions as well, starting with why does this disturb me so much more than the idea of teenaged boys hunting deer? Is it the juxtaposition of cheerleading with hunting (definitely disturbing)? Or do I harbor some sexist illusions that girls are less prone to violence against animals than boys? It made me think of The Sexual Politics of Meat by vegan feminist Carol Adams and her use of the term from linguistics, the "absent referent":
"Behind every meal of meat is an absence: the death of the animal whose place the meat takes. The "absent referent" is that which separates the meat eater from the animal and the animal from the end product. The function of the absent referent is to keep our "meat" separated from any idea that she or he was once an animal, to keep the "moo" or "cluck" or "baa" away from the meat, to keep something from being seen as having been someone."
Well, there's definitely no absent referent here. This is some immediate, hands-on DIY killin'. And it blows the theory that women have some sort of inherent, spiritual kindness and kinship with animals right out of the water.
The pictures (warning: dead deer right away) in the piece confused all of this for me even more. She's just a tiny little thing, posing happily in these grisly shots of deer hung upside down or splayed on the ground with their tongues lolling out. She looks truly thrilled in both of the shots, actually. I don't even know where to begin with that. It was easier when I didn't have such a vivid visual image of her as an individual and there was just a disembodied voice in my head.
"It took a year of hunting before Magan killed her first deer. It was a doe. "I started shaking when I put the gun up, so [Dad] had to hold it steady for me," Magan says. But she did it. She hit the doe in the shoulder. Marcy couldn't believe it. Magan was hooked. "I just like the peace and quiet," Magan says, explaining the appeal."
I don't know, maybe I am confused. When I want peace and quiet I go lock myself in my room, go meditate, go to the library or go on a hike, not pick up a gun and shoot an animal. That does not sound peaceful to me.
This was immediately followed by the next comment, which almost sent me over the edge:
"She says she likes it when she sees a mother deer playing with her fawns. "I think it's cute. 'Cause, you know, you can't kill them yet. But when they grow up, it's really good food. I don't know. I just like it.""
Yeah, fawns are ridiculously cute. Do I ever look at them and think, "Hey, there's my future food! Grow up faster so I can eat you! ". Nope.
I am, and always have been, baffled and disturbed by hunting (and cheerleading too, actually). As a child, I couldn't stand the idea of my parents putting out mouse traps, never mind shooting deer from a deer blind. I used to steal and dismantle mouse traps constantly as a kid (never too early to start a career in activism, I suppose).
Part of me really wants to understand why. Why would this little girl be so enticed by shooting and killing animals? What is the real, unspoken appeal of this activity for her? Does it make her feel powerful? Does it give her a sense of control or safety? Is it just a big rush? Does she feel like it puts her on equal footing with her father and brother? Is it rebellion: proving to the boys that girls can do anything, including hunt? Or perhaps it's none of the above.
I also have to ask myself a few questions as well, starting with why does this disturb me so much more than the idea of teenaged boys hunting deer? Is it the juxtaposition of cheerleading with hunting (definitely disturbing)? Or do I harbor some sexist illusions that girls are less prone to violence against animals than boys? It made me think of The Sexual Politics of Meat by vegan feminist Carol Adams and her use of the term from linguistics, the "absent referent":
"Behind every meal of meat is an absence: the death of the animal whose place the meat takes. The "absent referent" is that which separates the meat eater from the animal and the animal from the end product. The function of the absent referent is to keep our "meat" separated from any idea that she or he was once an animal, to keep the "moo" or "cluck" or "baa" away from the meat, to keep something from being seen as having been someone."
Well, there's definitely no absent referent here. This is some immediate, hands-on DIY killin'. And it blows the theory that women have some sort of inherent, spiritual kindness and kinship with animals right out of the water.
The pictures (warning: dead deer right away) in the piece confused all of this for me even more. She's just a tiny little thing, posing happily in these grisly shots of deer hung upside down or splayed on the ground with their tongues lolling out. She looks truly thrilled in both of the shots, actually. I don't even know where to begin with that. It was easier when I didn't have such a vivid visual image of her as an individual and there was just a disembodied voice in my head.
Vegan Pizza at The Pizza Place, Wynn Casino: review
I HAD to do it. Gotta work my way through the Wynn's vegan offerings sooner or later! I went last weekend to investigate with some of my vegan and veg friendly friends who were visiting from Florida. We had the vegan pizza with Teese cheese and all of the available veggies as well as the salad and vegan garlic knots. They even had vegan gelato on the menu (!!) as well as gluten free options and other clear allergen listings. It was a totally separate menu that they whipped out from behind the counter.
This is also one of the less expensive places to eat at The Wynn, as well as somewhere you could easily bring omni family and friends. There's even a beautiful manmade waterfall outside! And if that isn't your scene, there's flatscreen TVs with sports for those who are so inclined.
The pizza was quite tasty. The Teese cheese was a pleasant change from Daiya: more stretchy and less oily. I liked it and would definitely buy Teese if I could get my hot little vegan hands on it! The pizza came out very fresh (obviously made to order) and the service was great. My friends even asked, "Why are all the servers so incredibly nice here?" Oh, and the garlic knots were amazing! Real East Coast style---I devoured them all by myself.
Ironically, a few weeks ago I was with my vegan buddy Easy Ice at the Riviera while she was working an event and I overheard some guys talking about working at the Wynn. One of them stated that Steve Wynn was "totally fucking insane" and really didn't sound like he liked working there all that much. He also said that he's a control freak, but that he thought it probably takes being a control freak to build a casino empire. Yeah, probably! I've also heard a lot of blowback from my brothers' friends in the restaurant industry who know people who work there. Apparently a lot of the employees (including some of the chefs) think Steve Wynn's vegan thing is a very annoying kick that he's temporarily on and that hopefully he will get over it soon. I hope not, because selfishly I want to keep eating all of his awesome food!!! And obviously, it's great for the animals and for creating awareness of veganism locally and in the media. Thank you, Steve Wynn---I'll be back!
This is also one of the less expensive places to eat at The Wynn, as well as somewhere you could easily bring omni family and friends. There's even a beautiful manmade waterfall outside! And if that isn't your scene, there's flatscreen TVs with sports for those who are so inclined.
The pizza was quite tasty. The Teese cheese was a pleasant change from Daiya: more stretchy and less oily. I liked it and would definitely buy Teese if I could get my hot little vegan hands on it! The pizza came out very fresh (obviously made to order) and the service was great. My friends even asked, "Why are all the servers so incredibly nice here?" Oh, and the garlic knots were amazing! Real East Coast style---I devoured them all by myself.
Ironically, a few weeks ago I was with my vegan buddy Easy Ice at the Riviera while she was working an event and I overheard some guys talking about working at the Wynn. One of them stated that Steve Wynn was "totally fucking insane" and really didn't sound like he liked working there all that much. He also said that he's a control freak, but that he thought it probably takes being a control freak to build a casino empire. Yeah, probably! I've also heard a lot of blowback from my brothers' friends in the restaurant industry who know people who work there. Apparently a lot of the employees (including some of the chefs) think Steve Wynn's vegan thing is a very annoying kick that he's temporarily on and that hopefully he will get over it soon. I hope not, because selfishly I want to keep eating all of his awesome food!!! And obviously, it's great for the animals and for creating awareness of veganism locally and in the media. Thank you, Steve Wynn---I'll be back!
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Alchemy, Magic, Whatevs: Vegan Cooking Is Cool
As I boiled wiggly chunks of tofu for tofu ricotta, I realized that one of the things I love most about vegan cooking is the magical aspect of it. It's like alchemy: turning tofu into part of a vegan yummy lasagna that even my omnivore relatives love. Tofu looks even more like white jello after you boil it; it jiggles and looks like alien food as I strain it. The ingredients are unremarkable in my shopping cart and on the stove and then suddenly it all comes together at the end. I never got that satisfaction when I cooked with animal products. I hated it, wore vinyl gloves and felt grossed out and depressed. It was definitely far from magical. When you cook chicken, it still just looks like chicken when you're done. Vegan cooking has alchemical bells and whistles and secret tricks. It's like a game to figure out the starting ingredients sometime. It's witchcraft! And don't even get me started on vegan cookbooks. They are my crack. The first ones I had were hoarded in a little pile in my kitchen in Austin. I especially have fond memories of 365 Dairy Free Recipes and the Uncheese Cookbook. Getting excited to try out new recipes...in the early 90's and the days before the internet, getting new vegan recipes was like discovering hidden treasure.
I am so glad that there is no turkey on my family's table this year. Even in my years of omnivorous lapse, I always dreaded Thanksgiving and haven't eaten meat on that day since 1994. This year, it's fun and it's an Italian vegan potluck feast. I better get cracking on all of this cooking! Lasagne with porcini mushrooms, basil ricotta, veggies and the holy grail of ingredients: truffle salt! I finally found it and it's even local (so there!). Also making broccoli rabe with vegan sausage and carmelized onions and vegan tiramisu cupcakes. Hope everyone has a wonderful holiday with family and friends.
I am so glad that there is no turkey on my family's table this year. Even in my years of omnivorous lapse, I always dreaded Thanksgiving and haven't eaten meat on that day since 1994. This year, it's fun and it's an Italian vegan potluck feast. I better get cracking on all of this cooking! Lasagne with porcini mushrooms, basil ricotta, veggies and the holy grail of ingredients: truffle salt! I finally found it and it's even local (so there!). Also making broccoli rabe with vegan sausage and carmelized onions and vegan tiramisu cupcakes. Hope everyone has a wonderful holiday with family and friends.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Top 5 Things NOT To Say To Someone When They Are Single
I alternate between being very, very aggravated and slightly amused when people in couples talk to me about being single like it's a disease that I need immediate treatment for, lest they catch it. Don't worry! I won't blow on you and give you Singleitis. And no, there's not a vaccine for that. Although there could be a new medication with side effects that include happiness, comfy pajamas, vegan cookies, endless episodes of LOST, blogging, writing novels, sleeping comfortably, never getting into fights, no annoying pseudo-inlaws and not having to motherfucking answer to anyone, ever.
So in no particular order: my top 5 trite, Trying-To-Comfort-The-Pathetic-Singleton things to NOT say to a single person:
1. Don't worry, you'll meet someone soon.
Do I look worried? Is this my worried face? No, this is my blissful, "I'm a free bitch, baby!" face. Look, I could go to the nearest 7-11 and "meet someone soon", but that doesn't mean I want to.
2. You just haven't met the right person yet.
Yup. I've met Dumb, Dumb and Dumber, the Uncrowned King Of All Liars, the Uncrowned Queen Of All Evil, Jealous Control Freak Dude 2.0, The Only Book I've Read Is The Bible Guy, Sensitive Chick With A Lot Of Issues Who Ends Up Being Totally Nuts, The You're A Vegan? I'm A Hunter Man and the I'm Really A Straight Girl But I'm Just Really Into You. And that's just a few reasons why I like being single.
3. Have you tried internet dating?
No, I've been living under a rock for the past decade. Next!
4. You always meet someone when you aren't looking.
You know what happens to me when I am not looking? Accidents. Accidents happen to me when I don't look. Seriously, what kind of crazy, quasi-Zen bullshit is that? Is it a koan? 'Cuz it should be if it isn't.
5. Ooooh, I know the greatest (fill in the blank)! (He or she) would be perfect for you!
Really? Because blind dates always work out so well for me! Kind of like picking a doctor at random from the phone book.
So peeps in couples, think twice before you assume that every single person you meet is just dying to meet someone. Maybe they're happier than you are! Or maybe they aren't, whatever. The take home message is: I will be single until I'm not. I try to keep the door open to all possibilities in life, but right now I would prefer it to be mostly closed. And now the Universe will probably curse me with the Prince or Princess Charming as soon I post this blog.
So in no particular order: my top 5 trite, Trying-To-Comfort-The-Pathetic-Singleton things to NOT say to a single person:
1. Don't worry, you'll meet someone soon.
Do I look worried? Is this my worried face? No, this is my blissful, "I'm a free bitch, baby!" face. Look, I could go to the nearest 7-11 and "meet someone soon", but that doesn't mean I want to.
2. You just haven't met the right person yet.
Yup. I've met Dumb, Dumb and Dumber, the Uncrowned King Of All Liars, the Uncrowned Queen Of All Evil, Jealous Control Freak Dude 2.0, The Only Book I've Read Is The Bible Guy, Sensitive Chick With A Lot Of Issues Who Ends Up Being Totally Nuts, The You're A Vegan? I'm A Hunter Man and the I'm Really A Straight Girl But I'm Just Really Into You. And that's just a few reasons why I like being single.
3. Have you tried internet dating?
No, I've been living under a rock for the past decade. Next!
4. You always meet someone when you aren't looking.
You know what happens to me when I am not looking? Accidents. Accidents happen to me when I don't look. Seriously, what kind of crazy, quasi-Zen bullshit is that? Is it a koan? 'Cuz it should be if it isn't.
5. Ooooh, I know the greatest (fill in the blank)! (He or she) would be perfect for you!
Really? Because blind dates always work out so well for me! Kind of like picking a doctor at random from the phone book.
So peeps in couples, think twice before you assume that every single person you meet is just dying to meet someone. Maybe they're happier than you are! Or maybe they aren't, whatever. The take home message is: I will be single until I'm not. I try to keep the door open to all possibilities in life, but right now I would prefer it to be mostly closed. And now the Universe will probably curse me with the Prince or Princess Charming as soon I post this blog.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Animal Rights Reading: The Scalpel and the Butterfly
"Let us work against the principle then; not against personalities. For it [vivisection] is a weed that requires more than seven, or seven times seven of us to extirpate."--Helene Blavatsky to Anna Bonus Kingsford
I am currently reading The Scalpel and the Butterfly: The War Between Animal Research and Animal Protection by Deborah Rudacille. It's interesting how the thread of violence and controversy ran through the animal rights movement even in the nineteenth century. Reading about Anna Kingsford, an early champion of the anti-vivisection and vegetarian movement, putting a death curse on vivisectionists Claude Bernard and Paul Bert sounds eerily familiar. Death threats to researchers are apparently not anything new under the animal rights sun. And neither are personality clashes or hugely public squabbles between big names in the movement. Or sensationalism and in-fighting...even the Victorians were doing it! The clash between Anna Kingsford and Frances Powers Cobbe pre-dated the current "abolitionist" vegan versus "welfarist" vegan schism by over a hundred years. I just don't get the in-fighting in the movement right now at all. Even just seeing a re-tweet of any of Gary Francione's smug abolitionist rants is enough to make me cringe and hit refresh on Twitter. Believe me, if you want to make people NOT want to be vegan or a supporter of animal rights, that is definitely the way to do it.
I think the twelve step ideas of "attraction rather than promotion", "principles before personalities" and "love and tolerance is our code" could go a long way in attracting people to the movement. Although I think I would replace "tolerance" with compassion, since I think that is more to the point. Present the facts in a non-hysterical way if people are interested, don't bait, get preachy or angry and let them decide for themselves. Be the healthiest, happiest vegan activist you can be. Advocate, don't discriminate. Although there is a place and a time for in-your-face protesting, I wonder sometimes if it is actually turning more people off than it is attracting people into the movement. One of the people who was my vegan role model is a dear friend of mine who is an activist and has been a vegan for over 17 years. She is the least preachy vegan I've ever met and an amazing person. She consistently inspired and encouraged me to try being vegan again no matter how many times I fell down...face first into a container of greek yogurt (she teases me about that now!). Her dedication and positive example made me want to be vegan even more.
And before I forget: my family has agreed to have our first ever vegetarian Thanksgiving!!! I am so stoked. Since 1994 I have had my tofurkey all by my lonesome while everyone else ate turkey, but this year we will all be sharing a big vegetarian Italian feast. I think they agreed because I said I would do most of the cooking! Whatever---it feels like a huge exciting victory to me! Even when I had my icky foray back into omnivorous eating, I never ate Thanksgiving turkey again after 1994. That Thanksgiving was my first vegan epiphany, so I am grateful to be able to celebrate this occasion meat-free with my family this year.
I am currently reading The Scalpel and the Butterfly: The War Between Animal Research and Animal Protection by Deborah Rudacille. It's interesting how the thread of violence and controversy ran through the animal rights movement even in the nineteenth century. Reading about Anna Kingsford, an early champion of the anti-vivisection and vegetarian movement, putting a death curse on vivisectionists Claude Bernard and Paul Bert sounds eerily familiar. Death threats to researchers are apparently not anything new under the animal rights sun. And neither are personality clashes or hugely public squabbles between big names in the movement. Or sensationalism and in-fighting...even the Victorians were doing it! The clash between Anna Kingsford and Frances Powers Cobbe pre-dated the current "abolitionist" vegan versus "welfarist" vegan schism by over a hundred years. I just don't get the in-fighting in the movement right now at all. Even just seeing a re-tweet of any of Gary Francione's smug abolitionist rants is enough to make me cringe and hit refresh on Twitter. Believe me, if you want to make people NOT want to be vegan or a supporter of animal rights, that is definitely the way to do it.
I think the twelve step ideas of "attraction rather than promotion", "principles before personalities" and "love and tolerance is our code" could go a long way in attracting people to the movement. Although I think I would replace "tolerance" with compassion, since I think that is more to the point. Present the facts in a non-hysterical way if people are interested, don't bait, get preachy or angry and let them decide for themselves. Be the healthiest, happiest vegan activist you can be. Advocate, don't discriminate. Although there is a place and a time for in-your-face protesting, I wonder sometimes if it is actually turning more people off than it is attracting people into the movement. One of the people who was my vegan role model is a dear friend of mine who is an activist and has been a vegan for over 17 years. She is the least preachy vegan I've ever met and an amazing person. She consistently inspired and encouraged me to try being vegan again no matter how many times I fell down...face first into a container of greek yogurt (she teases me about that now!). Her dedication and positive example made me want to be vegan even more.
And before I forget: my family has agreed to have our first ever vegetarian Thanksgiving!!! I am so stoked. Since 1994 I have had my tofurkey all by my lonesome while everyone else ate turkey, but this year we will all be sharing a big vegetarian Italian feast. I think they agreed because I said I would do most of the cooking! Whatever---it feels like a huge exciting victory to me! Even when I had my icky foray back into omnivorous eating, I never ate Thanksgiving turkey again after 1994. That Thanksgiving was my first vegan epiphany, so I am grateful to be able to celebrate this occasion meat-free with my family this year.
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